5 Positive Self-Talk Tips For Children

We are all aware of that small voice inside us…You know the voice…the one that may not always be nice ☹ The one that might tell you that you are not good enough, the one that tells you that won’t work, and the one that tells you to give up! These examples are of negative self-talk, but when switched to positive self-talk it can make a massive difference in your life.

Can you imagine teaching kids positive self-talk early in life? How this would affect what they do and how they feel?

This week’s article explains what self-talk is and 5 self-talk tips for children.

What Is Self-Talk?

Self-talk is talking to oneself. It is a way of thinking and talking to ourselves. It can be good or bad, but the more we do it, the more likely it will affect our behaviour. This is normal and if done in a positive way it can be good for us!

Self-talk is an attempt to regulate one's own thoughts, feelings, and behaviour. People use self-talk to increase their ability to cope with difficult situations and to reduce anxiety. They may talk themselves through a decision process or rehearse how they will respond in order to calm themselves down. It may also involve communicating with someone else through thoughts or words like reassuring them. One of the most common examples of self-talk is when someone says "I am not good enough" or "I’ve got this".

How Does Self-Talk Help Children?

Self-talk for kids is a normal developmental stage. You may have seen your kids talk to themselves in games and role-plays around the house. It is a way that children learn how to manage their emotions and deal with difficult situations.

Self-talk is a coping mechanism for kids. We can help teach our children how to calm themselves down through self-talk.  When they are upset self-talk can help them recognise what might have triggered them emotionally or make them feel bad again. When children have these negative thoughts and feelings, they might not be able to pause those thoughts and feelings, this is where self-talk can help them change this negative dialogue to positive.

Why Is Positive Self-Talk Important?

What are the qualities that make a child successful? Is it intelligence, good looks, or talent? There are many factors that contribute to success, but one of the most important is self-talk. Self-talk is what we say to ourselves in our heads. Self-talk has a major impact on how we think and act. It can also affect how others see us, and what they think of us. For example, if you tell yourself that you're not smart enough to do well on a test and you don't study for it, then chances are you'll do poorly on the test and think that you're a failure. On the other hand, if you tell yourself that you can do well on the test, then chances are you'll study for it and likely do well.

Learning to self-talk positive thoughts will make a difference in a child’s confidence, self-esteem, and whether or not they achieve happiness. Someone that has negative self-talk may not ever achieve what they enjoy most due to those negative thoughts….There are so many other benefits to positive self -talk. It can help us organise our thoughts and make decisions more efficiently, boosts creativity and problem-solving skills, improves our mood and reduces anxiety levels.

5 Positive Self-Talk Tips For Children

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1. Keep A Journal

Keeping a journal is an excellent way to track your progress and keep your thoughts organized. A journal can be the place where you record your thoughts, feelings, and progress in achieving goals.

A journal can be used as a tool for self-reflection or as a goal-setting tool. You may want to write about what you are grateful for in the morning or what went wrong during the day. In this way, it can help you identify patterns and make changes that lead to more success in life.

You may also want to use your journal to set goals for the future or reflect on past decisions that have led you down a certain path. This helps with self-awareness and personal growth.

We have a small but growing range of digital journals that you can print out and start using straight away.

2. Accept The Good Things That Happen To You

The second tip is to accept the good things that happen to you. This includes both small events and big ones like success or a new job offer. It may seem counterintuitive but accepting these good things can help us feel more satisfied with our lives and less stressed about what might happen in the future. I know it may sound silly but I believe if you accept and say Thank you (either in your mind or out loud) for the good things that happen, more good things will happen. Also recognising the good things reiterates for you and others around you that good things do actually occur on a regular basis. Even when I get a green light straight away I always give thanks for the good things.

3. Talk Out Loud to Your Thoughts and Feelings

The reason why it is important to vocalise thoughts or feelings is that if you don't, they will startle you in your head. Talking out loud or to a third person can help by just laying out loud your thoughts and helping organise them. Feedback from the other person may not be necessary but just using another person as a sounding board can be beneficial.

Therefore, talking to a counselor if there is no one else to speak to is so popular and helpful. Children need to know that this is a healthy way to acknowledge feelings and it is ok to speak to someone else about their thoughts and feelings. This strategy can be very effective in helping people who are feeling down. It can help you to remember that you are not alone and that someone else has gone through what you are going through.

4. Ask Questions Rather Than Make Statements

Self-talk is a powerful tool that can help you achieve your goals. It's something that we do all the time with ourselves, but we don't always notice it happening.

To make sure you are making the most of self-talk, you can ask yourself questions and not make statements. Statements are things like "I'm going to do this." Questions are things like "How can I improve?" or "Why am I doing this?"

Statements are fantastic to boost confidence and encourage but questions will help you find new and interesting ways of achieving your goals. Questions can also help you validate whether the self-talk is helpful or not.

5. Use Kind Self-Talk

Tip 5 is when challenging a negative thought pattern or experience try to use kind self-talk. You are your best friend, and you need to treat yourself with respect and kindness. When we experience negative thoughts or experiences, it is crucial to remember that we are not alone and that there are ways to cope with them.

One of the best coping skills is kind self-talk. We can use this technique by telling ourselves, out loud, what we want for ourselves and how we want our lives to be. This technique has been proven to be effective in reducing negative thoughts and experiences.


We need to understand that our self-talk is normal and healthy for us. If we teach our children how to use positive self-talk early in life it will help them get through more challenging situations as they grow up. We need to make sure that the words we speak are positive and encouraging. If we are constantly speaking negative words, not only will our mental health suffer but it will also affect our physical health as well. To help with self-talk we have a range of printable affirmation cards for children to print and cut out and read out loud to themselves. Words Shape Our World. Words are powerful. So Be Mindful of What you Say To yourself.
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Have fun in your self-healing journey!

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