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5 Strategies to Calm Kids Down

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I don’t know about you, but I regularly ask myself, why didn’t my children come with a manual 😊

Although even if they did each child would need their special kind of manual…

I am the first person to put my hand up to say I am not an expert on all things. I am a parent of 2 kids, a scout cub leader, a kinesiologist, a wellness coach, and a mentor… I have had quite a bit of experience with kids. But they are all different and one strategy may not work for another.

Parents are often at a loss when it comes to dealing with anger in children. They can feel like they are not doing enough, or that they have no idea how to handle the situation. This is where anger management comes in. It is a great way for parents to teach their kids how to deal with their emotions and manage them in a healthy way. Anger management is a skill that many adults still struggle with, so teaching kids this skill early on will help them tremendously as they grow up.

In this article, we will go over why children are likely to get angry, why it is important to teach our children strategies to calm down and 5 possible strategies to help you next time one of your children needs calming.

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Why Do Kids Get Angry?

Children get angry for many reasons, but the most common are frustration and feeling ignored. Kids are often angry because they are not able to control their emotions. They can't differentiate between what is real and what is not. They don't know how to deal with their anger in a healthy way and that's why they often get angry. The best way to deal with anger is by learning how to control it, which will bring peace into the home.

Anger management is a way of teaching kids how to control their anger and stay calm in stressful situations. Some people might think that anger management is about suppressing your anger or teaching children to give up their feelings. But it's not about that at all. The goal of anger management is to teach children how to calm themselves down and manage their emotions when they get angry.

Why Is It Important To Teach Children Anger Management?

The goal of anger management is not just to teach children how to calm down, but also why it's important for them to do so. It's important for parents to understand the root of their child's anger and address it; otherwise, the child may take out his or her frustrations on those around them or themselves. When children are angry, it is easy for them to take out their frustrations on those around them. Children might be the victims of bullying or may have a difficult time trying to share their thoughts and feelings with their parents. They must learn how to calm down because when they do not, they can hurt themselves or others must learn how to calm down because when they do not, they can hurt themselves or others. Anger management is a life skill that is needed to have a healthy and happy life. It is important for every individual to learn how to manage their anger.

It is important for parents to empathise with their child’s feelings and not think of them as being "bad" or "wrong" when they are angry. Anger is a natural emotion, and everyone is allowed to feel all their emotions especially anger. We just need to learn how to manage it in a healthy way.


5 Strategies To Calm Down Kids

There are many theories and opinions on this subject. The following are 5 strategies that I have found to help calm down an angry or upset child:

1. Distraction

The first strategy is distraction. The idea is that if you are in a stressful situation and you can't leave, then try to help your child focus on something else. One way to do this is to get your child's attention by making a sound or telling them something funny. Another way to do this is to ask them questions about their day and what they did at school. You could offer them an activity that they enjoy doing, such as playing a game or reading a book together. I have found these work depending on the situation. I have also found getting them to play eye spy or the alphabet game (going through the alphabet thinking of names like Apple, Banana, Carrot, etc) helps. Once they are distracted by the activity or conversation, they usually calm down.

2. Breathing

The second strategy is breathing. The idea is that if you find your child overwhelmed with stress or anger, you ask them to take deep breaths and calm down. This will help to reduce your heart rate and blood pressure, which will make it easier to relax once again.

It is a great way to calm the mind and relax the body. There are many different deep breathing techniques that you can use with your child. One of the most popular techniques is called 4-7-8 breathing. This technique involves taking a deep breath in through your nose for four seconds, holding it for seven seconds, and then exhaling through your mouth for eight seconds. Deep breathing is a very effective technique for calming the mind and relaxing the body. It is a practice that can be beneficial for children suffering from anxiety. I have another post that goes through other breathing techniques.

3. Music Therapy

The third strategy is music therapy. A number of studies have shown that children who participate in music therapy, where they learn and play an instrument, tend to be more focused than those who do not participate. This can reduce violent and disruptive behaviour. Music training can also help develop communication skills and social ability, which can benefit a child's ability to read emotions, interpret facial expressions, tolerate frustration, and regulate emotions. Even just listening to music can be beneficial in calming down not only anger but improve self-esteem. A study from 2008 found music intervention beneficial for reducing anxiety, calming children down, and improving mood.

4. Autonomy

This strategy is all about giving a child the opportunity to make decisions and experience the consequences of their actions. This one depends on the age of the child, but it is important to allow all children a chance to make their own decisions on some things and understand the consequences. This is a very important skill to develop in life because it creates self-worth and allows a child to learn how much they can do without help.

5. Mindfulness

The fifth strategy is to practice mindfulness with them. In the book "Mindful Parenting," author Susan Kaiser Greenland outlines five strategies for parents to use in their parenting practices. The fifth strategy is to practice mindfulness with them. Susan Kaiser Greenland, author of “Mindful Parenting” encourages parents to practice mindfulness with their children. The goal of this strategy is for children to be able to be more in tune with themselves and their surroundings. This can lead to a greater understanding of how they feel, what they want and need, and how they react to things. Mindfulness is the mental discipline of paying attention on purpose, moment-to-moment, and neither reacting to nor dwelling on thoughts that come and go too quickly. It is a type of learning to not only observe one's own thoughts and emotions but also to understand them when they arise.

6. Extra Strategy Acknowledge Feelings

The sixth strategy is- Acknowledge Feelings. It is important for children to recognise, acknowledge and allow voice their feelings. It is also important for us to acknowledge and let them know what they are feeling and understand why. This strategy encourages children to feel their feelings and becomes a way for them to express what they are feeling.

It can be hard for kids to know what they are feeling and why they are feeling it. They might feel angry without knowing why or they might not have the words to describe their feelings. The best way for kids to learn how anger works is by talking about their feelings with a trusted adult. This gives them the opportunity to explore their feelings in depth and figure out what they need... It is important for kids to learn how to deal with anger in a healthy and appropriate way. If they are not able to do this, it can lead them down a path of destructive behaviour and resentment that can last into adulthood.


Everyone feels anger, it is an important emotion for us to feel and children need to understand that it is normal. It is also important for children to learn how to manage anger in a healthy way. These are but 6 different strategies to help calm down your child when they are angry, there are quite a few others to choose from. Please check out my anger management bundle. This includes a 45-page ABCs of Anger Management with 61 Anger Management and Mindfulness Activities for kids that are so effective the anger can go away within minutes. This bundle also has an Anger Management Journal, kid-friendly mindfulness breathing activities and a 10-page mandala colouring-in book to help calm those gorgeous kids down 😊

Until next time Thanks for reading.

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