6-Reasons-to-Stop-Being-a-People-Person Balance Me Happy

6 Ways To Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Putting Yourself First

Wellness Me Happy Balance Me Happy Wellness Coach

Are you a people pleaser?

I am suspecting since you are reading this you are, or you know someone that is…

Actually, I am putting my hand up or at least I used to be…Since having children I have had to learn to put my foot down. At least occasionally.

It is still really hard to say no to some people, just can’t help it…do you know the feeling?

Living life as a people pleaser can be draining and frustrating at times. Instead of being able to make decisions for yourself, you tend to worry about how other people might feel about your choices, or if your new plan will go smoothly.

As much as you may need that approval from time to time to stay grounded, is it worth the cost of frustration and the energy draining that can happen?

Everyone doesn’t want the exact same things from their lives, so trying to please everyone is never going to work out in the end. If you’re feeling like there has to be an exception made for everyone else’s feelings in any given instance, then that means the majority of people don’t care about what makes you happy either. Give up on trying to please everyone else and start taking care of yourself instead.


6-Ways-To-Stop-Being-a-People-Pleaser Balance Me Happy

1. Stop Saying Yes Before You Think

If you’re constantly trying to please others, then you won’t ever have time to think about what actually matters. Instead, think about your priorities and the things that actually matter to you before saying yes. Be more selective with those who are able to provide the most value to you in your life.

    2. Learn How To Say No

    Saying no is a difficult thing to do, but it’s also necessary. If you want people to respect your boundaries and stop asking for too much from you, then you have to make sure that you are respected in return. You have the power to say no when necessary and that’s why learning how to say no is so important.

    If you are not willing to say no, then you aren't going to get very far in life. You need to learn how to stand up for yourself and tell people that certain things are not going to work out.

    3. Be Honest and Firm With Yourself and Others

    Start being honest with yourself and be firm in your decisions. If you don’t believe in something, then don’t do it for anyone else. Don’t be afraid to speak up for what you believe in because that will benefit you in the long run.

    You have to be honest with yourself about what you want, and what you need from other people. You have to learn how to set boundaries, so that you don't feel trapped in a cycle of always trying to please others.

    you have to think: what do I need from them? What do I need from myself? What do I want?   You have to start by taking care of yourself. That's where the happiness lies. When you take care of yourself, you'll be more capable of taking care of others. So, start by learning how to take care of yourself first.

    4. Take Care Of Your Mental Health

    It might seem like putting yourself first is selfish but taking care of your mental health is actually an act of self-care. If you are always anxious about what other people think, then that pressure is going to affect your everyday life negatively.

    Take some time for yourself – whether it be a long walk at lunch or a bubble bath before bed – and reset your mind for happiness instead of worry.

    5. Don't Take Anything People Say Personally

    It’s easy to take criticism from people personally, but that’s going to do nothing for you and your progress. When someone criticizes you, it can feel like the worst thing ever. Take the time to realize their point of view and use it as motivation to improve yourself.

    Sometimes people will say negative things as a way to make themselves feel better. They may think it is okay to judge you, but it isn’t. And that’s their downfall, not yours. So don’t take it personal.

    6. Be Mindful Of Your Time

    When you spend your time trying to please everyone else, you’re not spending that time on what matters most. In order to put yourself first, make sure you’re mindful of how long you spend in social situations and whether or not they're worth the time spent.

    And don’t overcommit. While it can be tempting to overcommit yourself, you have to make sure you are making time for the things that are truly important. When you overcommit yourself, you're not doing what's important and taking care of your life.


    People pleasing is a term often used to describe people who do everything in their power to make others happy. While it may seem like a harmless way to live, people-pleasing can actually have negative consequences on our mental and emotional health. If you find yourself constantly putting others first, it's time to start putting yourself first.

    People pleasing can be an exhausting effort but learning to stop and put yourself first is necessary in becoming your own person. So, let me know in the comments or send me a message of how you plan to stop people-pleasing today. Also download our Free Self-Love Journal with Self Reflections from our FREE Printables page.

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    Have fun in your self-healing journey!

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